[align=right][b]5th July 1922[/b][/align]
The room was simple. Sterile.
White walls. White floor. White linens. Everything was white. From the wood trim to the bedframe, the painted rocking chair and the bedside table.
Thankfully, Ever’s family brought the color. A rainbow splash at the end of her bed came in the form of a quilt. Her childhood stuffed animals sat against the headboard, keeping an eye on the scattered girl inside the room. Reginald the teddy bear, or Reggy if he was being spicy. Patty the calico cat was queen of the group, holding court over the lesser stuffies. And Larry the panda. Why Larry? No one knew.
Ever sat in her favorite spot in the room, if she had the emotional wherewithal to have a favorite anything, but it was where the healers typically found her when they came in for therapy and bed checks. The window seat overlooked a small garden plot, filled with colorful flowers and a bench to sit in the sun. Her hands were folded in her lap, her fingers twitching rhythmically against the fabric of her hospital gown. This wasn’t your typical tie in the back gown, but a long nightgown with a matching robe.
Also white.
She wasn't allowed her quills anymore, [i]“Safety protocols, darling,”[/i] the Healer with the sharp eyes had said. Now, she only had charcoal sticks that left her fingers blackened, like she’d been reaching into a fireplace that wasn't there. On days where she felt like drawing, a white towel was brought in, otherwise there was a lot less white in the room after she was done.
The air in the ward didn’t move. No windows opened and there were numerous charms in place to keep the magical outburst to a minimum. To Ever, it felt like being wrapped in a tight blanket, smothered, too tight, almost itchy. It was quiet in her room, too quiet. She could sometimes hear the screams of other patients, but the walls and magical wards made it seem like a dream, a whisper, not something happening in the present.
The older man, the important one, came often. He talked about progress and therapy, words that went in one ear and right out the other. He encouraged her to write, to talk, to draw. When he came in to talk, a very one sided conversation, Ever sat in the rocking chair and listened. Nothing stuck, little was comprehended.
Potions were tried. The bitter taste stuck on her tongue. On the busy days she would be taken to a treatment room where a potion would be given then sleep would come. On those days she would wake in her bed with her brain pounding in her skull.
Alice didn’t live with her. That hurt the most, even if Ever couldn't find the words to say it. Her sister, her anchor, came and things felt right. There wasn’t words for it, but everything felt lighter when Alice was there.
[i]“She isn’t safe to be around long term,”[/i] the Healer had said. On more than one occasion Ever’s magic had exploded during a more rigorous treatment. Memories coming on fast, causing violent behavior or magical outbursts.
There were times during the day where Ever was allowed in the common area. This space was more colorful than her white room. There were toys for the younger kids, bookcases with everything from picture books to novels. Easels sat against one wall, paints and colored chalk to make drawings. Her time in the common room was much like her time in her room. No talking. No interacting. A lot of sitting.
The healers tried to get her to participate, but that would require want and emotion, which she had none. Time would tell if she would get better. If the healers would be able to open her mind and extract the painful memories locking her in a mental prison.
The scent of disinfectant clung to the back of her throat, sticky and uncomfortable as she walked the corridors of St. Mungo's, a half-step behind Nadežda. The click of their heels was brisk as it ricocheted off the bleak walls, a pace set by the psychiatric healer they had met the last time and who escorted them to Everleigh Ravenstone's room once more.
Magic coated every inch, differently here than on the other floors. Heavier, more restrictive. As though it was cast to contain, to supress and control rather than heal. Almost oppressive.
Liliya swallowed the claustrophobic feeling, focusing on what the man ahead was telling them.
No progress.
It really wasn't a surprise. There hadn't been one single thought behind those eyes, unlikely that something had stirred to life since then.
This was their second time here, the second time they'd see the girl with a mind so messed up not even the healers at St. Mungo's knew how to help. After weeks of therapy nothing had changed, no potions, no conversations, no spells — nothing had managed to unravel the mystery surrounding Everleigh's head and at last, Bertram Nordstrom had requested their help. Lucky for him they had arrived back in London the month prior.
Rounding another corner they stopped. The healer knocked and after a brief moment of no audible reaction he pushed the door open.
Everleigh sat by the window, the way she had last time, looking outside and doing nothing.
Liliya came to stand beside her aunt as the healer greeted the girl, crouching before her and calmly explaining that the [i]nice[/i] ladies — she had to supress a snort at that —from last time were here again to check up on her. [i]Last time[/i] hadn't been more than a brief assessment rather than a real session. Nadežda had pried into Everleigh's mind for less than five minutes before pulling back out and turning to Mr. Nordstrom, expression cool and unimpressed as ever.
There had been no amount of comfort in the way she had delivered the unvarnished, hard facts of his granddaughter's state of mind. Liliya knew, had it been any other patient in that room, she would have likely declared it a lost cause right away. But as it stood, this was a member of their new affinity's family, and so they would try, [i]truly[/i] try. Twice a week, over the course of months — if they were lucky — no familial presence needed.
Liliya knew what [i]that[/i] meant too.
The healer turned to smile at them, waving them closer as he stood. [i]"I will leave you to it. Should anything go wrong, just send a spell and someone will rush to help."[/I] She almost snorted again. Nadežda wouldn't need help, that was for sure.
Her aunt almost smiled as well, tilting her head in polite appreciation. [i]"Certainly."[/i]
And then the healer was gone.
Nadežda turned to her. [i]"You will begin."[/i]
Liliya's gaze shot around in surprise, meeting only hardened steel. [i]"You will be gentle when you step in. You will be careful and precise. There will be no shredding and no barging through, this is delicate work."[/i] The woman took a seat, folding her legs. [i]"Begin."[/i] Liliya swallowed.
Not what she had expected, typically she only watched as her aunt wove through someone's memories and thoughts, smooth as water, simply hovering in the background as an observer. To learn.
She [i]had[/i] shredded through one mind or another but those had been different...situations. This right here, this was new.
It seemed only fitting that her aunt would choose the most fucked up mind to start with.
Liliya took a breath. Whatever. She could do this. Wordlessly she sat across from Everleigh, eyes directly to hers. She felt the stillness settle inside her body, the way it always did before she entered the mind of another, and with the lightest touch she placed the tip of her wand to Everleigh's temple.
Like a vacuum pulling her conscience through a tunnel, her mind rushed forward.
People came and went through the common room. Ever didn’t pay them any attention. She didn’t pay anyone any attention. Sitting on the window bench, looking outside, her mind stayed in a state of inbetween. Not really seeing or hearing anything.
Someone was there now. By her. Talking words she didn’t hear. Two women, there was no familiarity. No recognition. Not a surprise, she barely recognized her family anymore. Except Alice. She knew Alice.
If they bothered to visit, she would probably recognize her parents, but it wouldn’t be in a good way. They weren’t allowed though, probably for the best. Again, not that she understood any of what was happening outside of the walls of the hospital. She didn’t even know what was happening inside the walls of her head.
No one did.
The girl with golden, almost white hair sat in front of her. Nothing triggered Ever seeing her. No anger, fear or animosity. The tip of her wand touched her temple. Everleigh’s eyes shut on instinct, her mind tumbling to and fro.
The intrusion didn’t hurt, but it was there. A presence that wasn’t normal. Ever didn’t pay it any mind as her brain did what her brain normally did these days. Cycling through snapshots of memories and pictures. Nothing stuck for long. Just blinks of images. Ever as a child. Alice crying when she hurt her knee. Her father’s office. The three cousins laying on the floor of the parlor talking about boys. A dog. Clouds. A dark tower filled with screams. The garden at Nordstrom Hall. Flashes of green lights.
When certain memories flashed a feeling of pain or peace depending on what her mind conjured. Nothing lasted. Sometimes, all that was there was a blankness, just a feeling of nothing.
For a while, she merely hovered on the outskirts. Right beyond the entrance to the girl's mind, observing and watching.
What she looked at was like nothing she had ever witnessed before. A swirling mass of inconsistent, splintered flashes of memories and feelings, moving in rapid succession with no discernible pattern or rhythm. Jumbled pictures that had no tangible correlation, bringing bursts of emotion that faded as soon as the next thing plopped up, overwhelming and incomprehensible.
And sometimes no emotion at all, a numb, apathetic void.
As though in search of something hidden.
Everleigh's movie played out like an endless loop of senseless sequences, shattered into the wrong order and constantly trying to rearrange itself. Most things were harmless, less interesting chunks of memory. Random.
But there was one that reoccurred. Different each time and highlighting a new aspect of the same scene. Undeniably belonging to one specific event though.
The moment Everleigh had lost her mind.
According to Mr. Nordstrom anyway.
That's where it all had to connect somehow, that's where they'd have to start looking.
And that's where Liliya pushed forward. Carefully, gently. Like fog slowly seeping through tangled blades of grass, appearing silently and fluently. So different than what she had done before, ripping and smashing like a pickaxe through ice. It felt like floating in empty space, like swimming through warm waters. Comfortable somehow, freeing almost.
Calling to mind how it had felt following Nadežda's lead through other people's heads, Liliya let herself drift. As softly as she could, aiming for the Dark Tower and the moments that had somehow twisted Everleigh's head so far left, she had never come back.
Something there had to give her an idea, a clue of where to look to untangle this mess.
All she needed was one loose thread to follow.
Thankfully for Ever, sitting and thinking was all that was required for this current therapy session. No talking, no explaining. In her current state, sitting and thinking was all she was really good at.
Unfortunately, thinking was spotty. None of her memories were clear or precise. Many flashed in and out of consciousness. Others were so tightly protected in the center of her mind, it was a wonder if she would ever retrieve them.
With Liliya’s help, there was a small nugget of hope.
While Liliya poked around in Ever’s head, the subject of the session just sat there. Her eyes moved under her closed eyelids, giving her a strange appearance. With her mind broken into fragments, Ever didn’t think about much. Memories were typically the only thing that went through her mind. Stuck in a loop of good and bad memories.
There was no recalling specific memories.
While Liliya walked through Ever’s mind, certain memories were coming to the forefront. They all seemed to have a theme… pain.
The first was of a small Ever, roughly 4 or 5 years old, sitting in a hospital bed. Her eyes showed a bustling room full of healers, while Ever waited her turn to be treated. There was a visceral bone deep pain that came through with the memory, centered in her left leg.
Broken.
Before the memory of how her leg was broken popped up, she was on to a new one. Ever crying while mourning her elephant stuffed animal, head decapitated from it’s body, stuffing all over the floor. It had been ripped apart by their old dog.
[i]*FLASH[/i]
Ever’s hand under a faucet of cold water while her mom ran around looking for her wand. A blister already forming after her hand was burned by a boiling pot of soup.
[i]*FLASH[/i]
Ever was screaming. Her eyes moved all around the dark room searching. Little Maevie and Rae were also hurt. Thayer had an evil glint in his eyes while pointing his wand at Ever. She didn’t want to go to the window. She didn’t want to hang out of the broken window, almost falling. Her stomach flared with pain, another memory of the glass slicing into her skin.
[i]*FLASH[/i]
She didn't land in the Dark Tower.
Before she could float into the memory, it was gone, snatched away from right under her nose and replaced with another. Liliya was pulled into it with a cutting stab to her own head, the echo of it rippling through her skull.
For a moment it blinded her, the change of course sudden and unexpected, almost throwing her out of the other's mind completely, but she held on. After a second, a bustling scene came into focus, Everleigh sat on a hospital bed, healers darting back and forth. Harsh pain radiated off the girl's memory, leaving an echo of it in Liliya's own left leg but before anything more could happen, everything was ripped away.
Again, pain flared inside her head, this time causing her to suck a sharp breath through her teeth.
She landed beside a wailing Everleigh, clutching the remnants of a stuffed animal while the emotional pain of a child's loss hollowed into Liliya's own heart. Stuffing littered the floor, and the scene changed once more.
White bordered her vision as Liliya held on for dear life, feeling her grip in Everleigh's mind wane as more pain from her own head and the girl's memories mixed together. She barely watched the unfolding of the fragment playing before her eyes and it didn't matter anyway.
Flash, and Liliya stood inside a dark, damp room, vision swimming. Screams echoed, shrill, harrowing, bouncing off the walls but Liliya had no chance to take a look around. Reluctance and fear weighed the memory down like an anchor, trapping her within the confinements of Everleigh's emotions. More pain, the warmth of blood and then her mind was thrown backwards.
Liliya grunted, eyes squeezed shut against the rush of pain flooding her head, momentarily drowning out every other thing in the world. The lights of the room were too bright when she finally managed to open her eyes, heartbeat pounding in her temples.
[i]"That was quick,"[/i] her aunt commented evenly, her tone cool but not harsh. Liliya could feel her gaze where it rested on her profile.
She rubbed at her forehead. "Everything is in fractures, there is no control to any of it. It just jumps from one broken piece to the next. It's like she pulled her entire conscience into herself and just let's things happen. But nothing belongs together."
There was a brief silence, the drumming in her head the only sound as she regarded Everleigh with a scowl.
A minute ticked by but then Nadežda's voice cut through the room. [i]"Try again."[/i]
Liliya swallowed, but she didn't argue. She knew better than to argue. Pointing her want to Everleigh's temple once more, she took a steadying breath before pushing back in.
They repeated the procedure three more times, until Liliya's head felt like it was splitting down the middle and Everleigh looked about ready to have a collapse of her own. After informing her healer, the left without a glance back, a new appointment already scheduled. Liliya wondered how many attempts her aunt would indulge in before declaring it as what it was.
A hopeless case.
[align=right][b]19 July 1922
After Lunch[/b][/align]
Very little progress had been made over the last two weeks, but a few things had been discovered.
*Everleigh refused tea. In fact, it was a sure fire way to start an episode.
*Flashing lights, of any color, would trigger a panic attack
*Following her visit with Liliya, Ever was exhausted, sleeping for a full 24 hours. For a few days after, she would take long naps, barely able to keep her eyes open.
*There was an increase in night terrors after her sessions. Both with Liliya and the healers.
Everleigh’s grandfather was getting detailed reports about her care and progress, but felt like the difficult times ahead were needed to get past the wall in her mind.
Today was another day, no healer sessions planned, but Liliya was scheduled to arrive shortly. They decided to keep her sessions to a minimum the day prior, so Ever was well rested and calm when they walked her into the room. Today they weren’t in the common room, with all the other visitors and patients. Instead, they were in a family room down the hall. This was more private. Somewhere they would be more comfortable, and if Ever started screaming, it wouldn’t bother the other patients.
There was a small couch and table with four chairs, a single window that did little to lighten up the space. The gauzy white curtains fluttered in the breeze where the window was open to let in some fresh air. It was needed. There was a heaviness in the room.
Ever was curled up on the couch, knees tucked to her chest, arms wrapped around her legs, rocking back and forth. It was a comfort reaction, something she did a lot now. Her hair was in a long french braid, her face pale from lack of natural light. She wore the same white nightgown she always wore. Her new uniform since leaving Hogwarts, but today she also had a royal blue cardigan buttoned over her chest. A gift from Alice, and something she refused to be without.
They hoped it was a sign, but only time would tell.
Liliya entered the room behind Nadežda, gaze immediately falling over the rocking form of Everleigh. The door clicked shut behind them and with a raised brow, Liliya dared a suggestive glance at her aunt.
[i]"We will continue,"[/i] was all she said, already settling at the table with casual grace, watching the girl on the couch.
They had talked about this. A lot. Analysing every single detail after every session, going over theory and strategies for hours. Liliya wasn't sure if her aunt truly believed there to be any chance of survival for Everleigh's mind, or if she just saw this as the perfect Guinea pic for her niece to practice on. After all, there wasn't much to destroy anymore, and if it did get worse, the blame was easily averted.
Not that it mattered. Liliya did as her aunt told, no questions asked. Whatever the motivation was in the end, she knew better than to disobey, hesitate, or even half-ass it.
A nod was all she answered with before she pulled her wand from her sleeve.
Wordlessly but gently Liliya settled next to Everleigh, again searching the girl's face for a moment. The rocking was new, from what she could tell. The cardigan too. Probably a gift. She wasn't sure if the latter and the former being a negative and a positive wasn't just cancelling each other out and they had in fact made no progress whatsoever, as feared.
She still hadn't managed to stay in that tower memory in a controlled manner.
Liliya straightened, focused. She had no other choice but to try again. And this time she wouldn't just [i]step[/i] in, hoping to glean a glimpse. She had tried that often enough and it wasn't working. Maybe Everleigh needed to be taken off guard for once.
Touching her with nothing more than the tip of her wand to the temple, Liliya didn't just float into the girl's mind — this time she shot in. With precise, quick determination, like one would inject a needle into an arm. Aiming for that Tower once more, this time like a dart to a board instead of a fallen leave helplessly blown around by the tornado of that mind.
At first, Everleigh didn’t register the visitors in the room. Eyes glazed over, lost in her world of memories and nothingness. She no longer lived in the here and now, but stuck in her brain filled with nonsensical memories.
When Liliya sat next to her, Ever shifted, sensing the new person. There was no recollection, but the girl’s natural response was to tense and shy away. The rocking stopped, her breaths increased, heart rate right along with it.
Today there was no easing into the session. Liliya jumped right into her mind, knocking Ever for a loop. Her memories stuttered, stopping on one for longer than normal. Typically the girl shuffled through past events in the blink of an eye, but with the intrusion, this one stuck for a few beats longer.
Ever was in an office, a large room with ornate wood paneling and a burning fireplace. A storm was raging outside, thunder and lightning shaking the windows. Through her minds eye, you could see her hand, shuffling papers on the desk, her hand shaking, the memory hazy, no detail could be seen in the paperwork. You could feel Ever’s dread, it seeped into the memory like water into a sponge. She was scared, nervous, her eyes darting up every few seconds to look around the office. Just as the door opened in the memory, a man walked into the office with a look of anger on his face, the memory jumped to a new one.
From here the memories flashed through like shuffling playing cards. Faces of people she knew, places she had been, the Ravenclaw common room, a field of wildflowers.
Then they were in the tower. The dark musty bricks and the sight of Maevie trying to burn herself. Ever’s whole body tensed in fear. Just as the memory was due to flip, a sudden force stopped it. Liliya wasn’t just a bystander now, pushing herself into the memory caused it to keep playing.
The feeling of bindings on her wrist, pain when the spells hit her. The pure panic of seeing her friends suffer. Being forced to nearly toss herself out a window, the glass cutting her, the adults barging in, spells, flashes of light, being pulled out of the window, a blinding green light, then nothing but pain.
As the memory of that night played out in her head, Liliya would see everything.
Ever, sitting on the couch was shaking. No longer rocking, she was convulsing. Moans of pain would escape her mouth, her fingers scratching at her wrists where the bindings once cut into her skin. With the new presence in her mind, the memory didn’t react like normal. It didn’t move on to some other random scene. It went right back to the beginning when the memory started in the tower. On repeat, she would relive the pain, terror, trauma and panic. Over and over and Over.
Everleigh's mind managed to blow her off course anyway, but Liliya's sudden intrusion threw [i]her[/i] off balance too. Because the memory they [i]did[/i] land in lasted longer than the usual flicker and flash of images and emotions the girl shuffled through without relent. Like a wrench in her gears, this one held up the endless loop to a temporary halt, interestingly enough.
Liliya watched as Everleigh's hands riffled through papers on a desk, waves of fear and trepidation washing over every detail. Something dooming was hanging in the air, something dangerous. She could feel it in her own hands, the shaking, could feel the urgency, the dread of getting caught.
Something about this felt important.
Liliya tried to steady the walls of the memory, contain it, let it play out in full. To see if she was right and whatever had happened here had anything to do with Everleigh's state of mind as it was today. Could it, or was this just the random memory she had landed on and it didn't mean anything at all? Before she had a chance to decide, the door to the office opened, revealing a man with fury on his face and the next second all was gone.
Sharp pain sliced through her mind and Liliya cursed inwardly, frustration simmering low as she tried to keep her concentration steady. To not lose her temper with this ridiculous bullshit as the shuffle of images continued once again.
And then the Tower plopped open.
Liliya ground her metaphorical heels into the metaphorical ground.
A redheaded girl, hand extended over the flame from a wand, Everleigh's emotions like a shower of fear and terror. One more second and it was about to skip but this time she wouldn't let it.
[i]No.[/i]
She couldn't have said how she'd done it, maybe it was the endless circle of doing the same goddamn thing for the hundredth time and her very much limited patience running out. But Liliya's mind expanded over Everleigh's, capsuling around the memory like an impenetrable bubble, taking control. She wouldn't do this again, this time they'd stay here.
And she didn't let it go, watched it, over and over. Every detail, every layer of emotion, every angle. Once the sequence ended, Liliya jumped them right back to the start — until she could recite every word said, knew exactly what happened next. Analysing every little thing, searching for clues in Everleigh's emotions.
On the outskirts of her physical awareness she could feel Everleigh start to shake, moans of phantom pain muffled like through a thin wall. She ignored it, continuing to witness what had happened in that tower. But she couldn't figure it out. Couldn't pinpoint it.
What had caused this girl to lose her mind to such extent? Just trauma? It made no sense. There had to be something more.
After another three loops, Liliya finally pulled back, groaning against her own throbbing head while she tried to grasp Everleigh's hands. "It's okay," she ground from between clenched teeth. "You're okay, it's over."
[i]"It's okay, You're okay, it's over." [/i]
It was never over. Everleigh lived in a constant state of pain and fear, reliving her worst days on a loop. Even the good memories caused pain, reminding her what she was missing. Somewhere, deep inside her brain, Ever was aware of everything she missed and loved. It was all overshadowed by the negative. The pain. The trauma. The betrayal.
The question was, would Ever be able to get past it all. Would the memories unravel, allowing her to live her life again?
The sweat on Ever’s brow trailed down her face, stinging her eyes. The voice of Liliya barely scratches the surface.
[hr]
[b][align=right]11 August 1922
2:00 pm[/align][/b]
Today was different.
Not better, but not the same.
Ever sat at the small table in the family room, waiting for her guest. Liliya was coming again. She came a lot to see Ever and poke around in her brain. Was it helping? No one knew. Time would tell.
The healers thought things were moving forward though, when Ever was found sitting on the floor scribbling pictures. They weren’t recognizable, but when they found her drawing on the cold wood floor, marking the surface of the wood, they decided that giving her back her beloved journal was a good idea.
As the door opened, Ever was sitting up in the chair, head cocked to the side, staring off into space. A memory playing in her head that no one could see. Her hands were black with the dust of her pencil, no longer allowed to have quills due to their sharp tips.
For safety purposes.
The details of the drawings were not as crisp, but you could still make out the general shapes. Her old drawings at the front of the book gave away details of her past. Events that shaped her mind, tangling up her brain into what they found today. A fireplace, the window in the tower, a tree being struck by lightning, Mae’s hand being burned, the carnival tent surrounded by a dark fog.
There were a few newer pictures to look at. One, for once, seemed to be a happy time. To the casual bystander it just looked like three hands stacked on top of each other. Without the use of color, it wasn’t much to look at, but to Ever it was a happy time. Alice, Tilly and Ever having a sleepover, painting each other's nails. Ever wearing a magenta pink, Alice in a lavender and Tilly in a cherry red. There had been a lot of laughter and love, and very little sleep that night.
Another picture showed a double door, opening just a crack. Large, ornate and dark, with two sconces on either side. Nothing bad came from the picture, but if it was connected with a memory, a second later the door would open to a very angry father.
The last picture in the journal was a desk. Nothing stood out, nothing was particularly awe inspiring, but what once was a blurry memory now had detail. There were papers and quills littering the desktop. A book and drawings of brooms in various stages of production. And one thing in particular made an appearance. Something that hasn’t been produced by Everleigh in awhile… words. It was just two simple words, [i]Ravenstone Flightworks[/i].
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